We have all been there. When you want something so much, only for it to slip through your fingers or when you have tried so hard to achieve something but did not succeed in the end.
So, what should you do when you have hit a snag on the road?
- Take a step back to reassess the situation
Maybe the situation is not as bad as you think. Or perhaps, there is another solution or a better option which will eventually come your way. What should be your next step now that Plan A has failed? Have you come up with Plan B yet? If not, do you need some time before working Plan B? Give yourself some respite after you lost something but know that you can always bounce back.
- Vent to someone about the issue to get over it
We all need a shoulder to cry on especially at our worst times. We can be angry at the moment and talk about what happened to someone we trust. However, remember that the event had already taken place and there is no point crying over spilt milk. So, let out the anger and disappointment and then, move on from it.
- You are never alone
According to Personal Excellence, someone else must have dealt with the same problem before. There are others out there who might be facing the same issues or much worse problems. We should look towards those who are not as fortunate as us to know how blessed we are. Of course, we have the right to also feel pain even if the problem is small compared to others but being aware of what others go through helps us look at it with a new perspective.
- Process your emotions
It is very important for you to able to articulate what you are feeling because you will need to experience it to the fullest instead of sweeping it under the rug. If you keep bottling up your feelings, you will feel resentment and that is not beneficial in the long run. So, remember to acknowledge your feelings and emotions before going on to the next step.
- Clear your head
Don’t let your thoughts be in a muddle for too long. It will give you a headache or worse, a convoluted state of mind. Free yourself of the torment and do not put yourself down by criticising yourself. Keep looking at the glass as half-full instead of half-empty and learn from the situation instead of fretting over what could have happened.
- Take a break
Go to the beach or lose yourself in a book. The real world can be pretty harsh sometimes so take some time to look at what’s beautiful around us like trees, animals and even the sky. If it is hard for you to appreciate nature, then appreciate fictional worlds in books or movies and transport yourself elsewhere for an hour or two.
- Find out what is actually bugging you
Sometimes, we find someone or something to blame and aim our frustration at them. After going through the first 6 steps, it will allow you to look at the issue rationally and maybe be open to looking at your shortcomings instead of pushing the blame on a third party.
- Look at it like a challenge that can be overcome
It is not the end of the road – just a hurdle for you to get past and you can pass this test by being resilient and patient. Like everything in life, it is temporary and down the road, it would not matter as much as it does in the present. It may look and sound very important now but in the hindsight of things, it could be more trivial than you think.
- Make a list of what to do next
Remember that Plan B we were talking about at Step 1? Now is the time to formulate a plan and turn it into action. Make concrete plans and execute them diligently. Doing something about it makes you feel more in control about the situation and definitely, makes you more productive.
- Make sure the event does not repeat itself
Try your best to not repeat the mistake and learn from the incident. You do not want to feel badly again. Hence, try to not get disappointed a second time by avoiding the things that led you to the issue in the first place. Take precaution and do not be oblivious to your surroundings, especially now that you should know what to look out for since you have already experienced it before.
- Know that it could be a lot worse
As mentioned in Step 3, there are others facing a lot worse things than what you are going through. You should also look at the silver lining of what is happening to you, there often is one. Sometimes, things happen at the right time and perhaps, that was not your time to shine but the time will come for you to succeed eventually and this is just one of the moments for you to look back on and remember how you struggled to get there.
- Do not put too much pressure on yourself
You should always do your best but remember that you are human and humans have limitations. We are not superheroes who can fly and be everywhere at all times and be good at everything we do. We are not meant to be perfect so learn to embrace your imperfections and just do what you can and strive to be better.
- Reflect from the encounter
Write down in a journal what you have learnt from the experience and what is your takeaway from the entire ordeal. You have gone through a lot but you survived and this will teach you that there is nothing really that you cannot recover from which is a pretty great lesson that only life can teach you.
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